We have all felt it. Whether you are a new Mom with a little one and running on zero sleep. Or the full-time working Mom whose time is spread thin. How about the Mom who is a business owner and trying to find the balance between personal life and providing for her family. Or the Single Moms! High five to you! I have been there and it is a daily grind!
Motherhood is no joke. Although it comes with it’s challenges, it is the most wonderful and rewarding job in the world. But for hundreds of years women have become accustomed to the thought that we are responsible for our children’s happiness, our husbands happiness and the overall well being of the family dynamic. It is natural for women to have that nurturing side to us. It is in our DNA. It is so easy to become wrapped up in the expectations of the title “Super Mom” that we forget what is actually important. And if I’m being honest, I am a people pleaser. I have been since birth. I want, no NEED everyone I love and care about to be ok and happy. I have always lived with the thought that if my Husband or Kids aren’t happy then I have failed. This is something I am trying to overcome and it’s hard! I’m sure a lot of you mamas can relate. But our self worth and sanity is not dependent on whether everyone else is ok. The unnecessary worry and expectation is too big a burden to bear. It’s time to let go ladies! Are your kids alive? Are they safe? Are they LOVED? These are the most important questions in my opinion that we need to ask ourselves. I loved the chapter in the book “Girl Wash Your Face” when Rachel discusses motherhood and her distaste in attending her children’s sports activities. It was so honest and raw and so eye-opening to me. I myself have been in scenarios in my life where I had zero interest in something that was “expected” from me in my role as a Mother. You know what I’m talking about. That expectation we place on ourselves and other women too if were being honest. Why do we do this? At times when we find cracks in the foundation (ourselves) we lay blame or judgement on other moms. Yep, the Mom Shaming. I have felt this numerous times from other Moms, it is horrible. The feeling of judgement when you miss a sports event due to unfortunate events or didn’t sign up for the Bake Sale. Here come the texts. “Where were you last weekend? I didn’t see you Sunday and thought maybe something happened because you missed it.” “Oh, your not doing the Bake Sale? Bummer.” And here comes the guilt. We have all passed the shade or been on the receiving end. There will always be that mother that loves being as involved as possible in her children’s school events or sports fundraisers. Or the mom that packs every lunch and writes notes on the napkins with a quote of the day. If that’t not you, who cares! It doesn’t make us any less of a mother if we can’t always perform to the expectations of others. We should embrace each others skills and give each other a pat on the back, because Mom Life is hard! I truly believe every woman has the same common goal as a mother, and that is to be the BEST possible version of ourselves for our children. My priority has always been to show my kids that being your authentic self is not only important but imperative if you want to be true to yourself. We want nothing but the greatest future for our kids and for them to be happy. When they are 20 years old will they remember all the tiny details or mistakes you made along the way? Probably not. Kids look back to their childhood and reflect on the memories with their family, fun summers with friends, that awful awkward teen stage, and how much candy they ate. In closing, ladies never underestimate the power of a woman and all the qualities that make us unique and amazing mothers. We truly are the glue that holds the family together and sometimes we need to remember that and let go of all the expectations we place on ourselves. Take a day to yourself and practice a little self care. You deserve a break from the madness. Take a workout class with a mama or even schedule a pedicure with some champagne. Remember everyday is a new chance to start over, so if yesterday was an uber fail there’s always tomorrow. And most importantly let’s stick together and help each other out when the load gets too heavy. I won’t say no to a visit from a gal pal and bottle of wine. Ever. Would you? Cheers!!